By Joseph Jablonski
The decision came down from the school's president himself
through a long and well-written letter. As is commonly the case with the media,
we find the intricacies of the letter, as well as its beautifully complicated
solutions, are glossed over and tossed in favor of highlighting the feebly odd
and the interesting points. This is done because the reporter wants either
conflict or his or her own agenda. Even so, the one statement that is being
trounced by everyone as the key statement in this article is the one showing
the school president's rhetorical aptitude. For the president states that
"if our two brothers who have
asked to attend the Junior Ball together wish to do so, they will be
welcomed."
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| Scenes from the March for Marriage in Washington, DC. |
Brothers. The debate about gay marriage, gay rights, and homosexuality
spirals so quickly into a discussion on perversions, either of justice or of
sexual norm, that we fail to see potential for unique relationships that homosexuals
can have. We condemn the negative and fail to uphold the positive, and, in
fact, the positive ceases to exist in our discussion. We also prefer to uphold
our own points rather than take the discussion to answering the genuine
concerns of others. Defending and upholding traditional marriage may be great,
but by doing
only that, we don't
answer the elephant sitting in the room for the past few years: how do we show
love, care, and concern for homosexuals, now publicly acknowledging their
orientation? Denying the existence of a natural cause to homosexuality (i.e.,
that they are created like that in the image of God) leads us on a short route
to alienation, even if we are to discover one day that homosexuality occurs in
a person by nurture alone. If we can answer the genuine concerns of
homosexuals, we can sidestep that whole muddle.
The letter from the president of the school highlights the USCCB’s
very own document, "Always our Children." Passages about showing love
and care for others no matter their decision about their orientation are
supplemented with beautiful ideals about chastity that not only conforms to the
sexual ethics of the Church, but answers the concerns, to the best we Catholics
can, of gays and lesbians:
"I would like to let a ray of light enter into possible
misunderstanding of the Church's teaching. In that same message, Always Our
Children, the Bishops are clear --"Nothing in the Bible or in Catholic
teaching can be used to justify prejudicial or discriminatory attitudes and
behaviors." The Bishops continue: "It is also important to recognize
that neither a homosexual orientation, nor a heterosexual one, leads inevitably
to sexual activity. One's total personhood is not reducible to sexual
orientation or behavior." In that same message, the Bishops refer to a
1986 Letter from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith which emphasizes
that "Respect for the God-given dignity of all persons means the
recognition of human rights and responsibilities. The teachings of the Church
make it clear that the fundamental human rights of homosexual persons must be
defended and that all of us must strive to eliminate any forms of injustice,
oppression, or violence against them."
“The Bishops continue, "It is not sufficient only to
avoid unjust discrimination. Homosexual persons 'must be accepted with respect,
compassion and sensitivity' (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2358). They,
as is true of every human being, need to be nourished at many different levels
simultaneously. This includes friendship, [brotherhood] which is a way of
loving and is essential to healthy human development. It is one of the richest
possible human experiences. Friendship can and does thrive outside of sexual
involvement.""
While the mass media will simply look upon this as a
liberalizing Church on some overly idealistic yellow-brick road towards gay marriage,
I can see a way for the Church to move forward in acceptance without moving
backward into possible error. The Church, and we as Catholics of various
backgrounds, must accept that the modern homosexual man chooses to live publicly. He is public about his
homosexuality, and unabashed.
However, this does not merely mean that we must accept the
culture's flawed, hastily created, and troublesome answer to the publicly gay
man. I have the highest respect for him, in fact, because he tolerates a total war
made in his own name, as well as an equally vicious counter-attack. The
culture, in response to his existence, immediately cries that a liberalization
of marriage is the answer. This is so ingrained to our brains that, when we see
a post like this on Fr. James Martin's Facebook wall, we immediately imply he
has some sort of deep-seated desire to legalize gay marriage. On the other
side, if one doesn't support gay marriage, one doesn't support gay anything,
apparently. This contrast is not only ridiculous, but worrisome: it must be
shattered by love if love, which always has had a path moderate and peaceful,
is to make its course.
And this is where I plead that a response to the publicly homosexual man becomes one more like that of Fr. Edward Salmon. No love comes
from coercion; when faced with such a difficult situation and petition in his
school, the president opted for peace. He did not, however, allow his action to
go unexplained - in the meek letter, he outlines a bold rebellion to the
cultural paradigm, avoiding error, while moving forward in an acknowledgement
that should stir hope inside of us. Why would he reiterate multiple times the openness
towards a non-sexual relationship? Can we see the marriage of the conservative
sexual ethics of the Church with the liberal call to love the public homosexual
man?